Ben Affleck in the Bar None
Afflecker
You know me (and if you don’t there ought to be a law), i’m in it for the laughs. So far be it from me to “out” a drinker in recovery, but apparently not so far from me because i’m doing it right here.
Yesterday morning, i came across (in the non-sex way) an article on the Huffington Post talking about 19 celebrities who don’t drink and if you look at #28 (of 19, WTF!?) you see…Ben Affleck. It’s not the first time i’ve heard Ben’s name associated with sobriety and, as someone in recovery for alcoholism (over 3 years dry now, baby), i’m always on the lookout for famous people who are as fucked up as i am.
Yes, Ben is full of it, if “it” means “a giving spirit” because after all, he’s the one who just last August went to tell Lindsay Lohan how to be sober.
Affleck — who himself was in rehab back in 2001 — met Lindsay somewhere away from the Cliffside rehab facility in Malibu where Lindsay was getting treatment. We’re told Ben gave her guidance on how to maintain sobriety after rehab for someone in Hollywood.
Apparently someone better go find Lindsay Lohan’s ass and tell her to do the exact opposite of everything Ben told her because everything he knows about sobriety you could fit in a thimble but don’t do that because he’d pro’lly drink that to.
Turns out Ben is full of it, if “it” means “booze”.
“You can’t hear me? Let me DRINK UP!” (Bar None Artist’s misdirection)
“I Swear I haven’t drunk since 2001.” (Bar None artist’s misinterpretation)
Sobriety for Ben is an Afflecktation, something he shows off when it’s convenient but not something he’s serious about. In 2010, there was already talk about how he sat down at some table with Tommy Lee Jones at Sundance plopping down a fifth of Absolut and all Ben’s handlers had to shoo the press away like flies off of shit.
In the same loaded vein, last week’s Golden Globe Awards must’ve been one hell of a party because Ben got shitfaced along with Emma Thompson and Jacqueline Bisset. Check out the evening’s photos, and tell me he doesn’t look seriously Affleckted.
“I love you, man.”
“I fuckin’ love you, man.”
“I love fucking you, ma’am.”
Just for laughs…
Bar None Dregs
On a happier note, Saint Pauly just posted another one of his WTF!? reviews and they’re funnier than I have a right to be.
WTF!? review of “Indisdious”
Didn’t get your fill of the dregs? i keep them on tap right here.
